The Urgency Trap

Posted on November 9, 2015 by Lioness Staff

sadUrgency is one of the greatest, yet most overlooked sources of stress for women entrepreneurs.

You may not even be aware that you’ve fallen victim. But the clues can be all around. Are you setting stressful, unrealistic goals for yourself and your business? Are you putting undue amount of stress on the success of your business or letting exterior factors drive your motivation? Do you feel like a mouse running on a wheel (which in this case is your to-do list) that never stops? One of these days, you think, you’ll get on top of things. It feels exhausting and overwhelming, like pushing a boulder up a hill. Maybe you struggle to be present with your loved ones because your mind is always thinking of what you need to do.

I used to feel all of those things. I was trying to take care of my son, work part time, start a business and finish my novel. It all felt hard and overwhelming. Then things came to a head and I ended up with pneumonia and adrenal fatigue and then at the same time picked up my son’s Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. I figured the Universe was clearly trying to get my attention and I better listen.

As I lay in bed totally wiped out I thought maybe people were right when they said you can’t follow your dreams while being a mom.

The thought saddened me because I was really inspired and passionate about all the things I did and didn’t want to give any of them up. That’s when I had the realization: The problem was not my desires. It was the urgency I placed on fulfilling them.

Urgency to make my business super profitable NOW, rather than grow organically. Urgency to be the perfect mom. Urgency to get the romance back in my relationship. Urgency to publish my novel. It felt exhausting. I had the sense of pushing and striving so hard to achieve all these things within the crazy deadlines I had imposed. I was constantly anxious that I wasn’t getting enough done and felt behind and guilty. This in turn affected my health and my ability to be totally present with my family and friends.

The answer, I realized, was not to give up on my dreams and desires, but to let go of the urgency to achieve them NOW. This means holding onto your desires, but embracing the current reality, even if it’s uncomfortable. 

The realization gave me a profound sense of ease and has totally changed the way I work and organize my life. Once you take away the urgency you can be led by inspiration and enthusiasm. You no longer feel like you’re pushing against life, rather you’re in flow. It’s in that state when miracles happen, just maybe not when you expect them to. 

As a fellow entrepreneur, I invite you to hold your desires in an open palm and in the other hand hold your current reality. Embrace both, but let go of urgency. From there your life can begin to flow. 

What are you forcing in your life? Where have you created urgency? What is the impact for you and others? Please let me know in the comments below.

Kelly Brooke is a coach, strategist and writer. She helps busy moms pursue their crazy dreams and passions, starting with nailing ‘the fundamentals’ like productivity, mindfulness and success habits. She provides a ton of free resources and weekly blogs on her website:

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