Current Issue The Lipstick Chronicles

Should men avoid dating professional women nearing their 40s?

I just came across a recent post on LearnWomen.com and, wow, was I shocked! The post said men should avoid dating women, who are professional, career women nearing their 40s. WHAT? That’s me!

I just came across a recent post on LearnWomen.com and, wow, was I shocked! The post said men should avoid dating women who are professional, career women nearing their 40s. WHAT? That’s me!

It goes on to say professional women delay the notion of a husband, marriage or kids and focus on their careers. Girls night or weekend fun is just that – time for fun, not for finding a man. Men just aren’t their priority at that given time.

As I kept reading, I found myself slightly appalled, but then thought,“this is kind of me.” I didn’t decide to jump into being a “professional, career woman,” but just found myself becoming one. I wasn’t finding a suitable partner and when I had one, he wasn’t the one for me in the end; I wouldn’t compromise my future for someone who was cheating on me. So yes, I threw myself into my work, then got laid off and went back to school. I found myself starting over at age 32 after earning an MBA and moving to Georgia for a new career.

I wanted something a little more stable versus consulting in a new town, so I found a job, started paying my bills and then realized I worked a lot — which left little time for a man. As you know I pondered the “do I make time or wait” concept.

Well, as luck would have it, for all the times I said I would put dating aside, I let Tinder show back up on my phone and much to my surprise met a wonderful guy and have been dating him for a bit. I couldn’t be happier.

I’ve discussed the realities of dating a professional, career woman with the man I’m seeing. He’s my age, divorced with two kids. Naturally, certain questions arose such as “why am I still single?” and whether or not I’d like to be a stay-at-home mom. I have resided to answer the latter question the best I can right now, “I want to work but until I have kids, I won’t know how I feel.”

I feel a little different from the women described in the article. They say professional, career women are men trapped in women’s bodies, who’re not very feminine. If you knew or saw me, I wear a dress almost anywhere and my roommate can attest I sometimes come home and clean or cook in my work dress and heels and I am happy to do so.

Professional, career women are also not nurturing, according to LearnWomen.com. It’s another item to cross off on the list for me, as I am a mother figure. I like to make sure everyone is happy and help wherever I can to make sure everyone is well. When I get around my friend’s children I kick into “mommy/aunty” mode and someday hope to have my own little ones to watch over.

Where I tend to be similar to this type of woman – I have a hard time letting someone else take the lead or take care of me. However, I am dating a southern gentleman who opens doors, car doors included, and he likes to treat me like a lady so I am learning to sit back and let him lead. (I haven’t opened a door in I don’t know how long!)

Like the article, I am also Type A and due to the nature of my life have become independent but I’m learning day by day to become dependent on someone and I hate to admit it, it is a wonderful feeling to know someone supports you 100 percent.

Much unlike the article though, I do enjoy sex and not just because I want a baby. I enjoy sex because it is something special and should be cherished and enjoyed with the right person in a safe manner.

While I’m still shocked by this article, I am realizing I do not exactly fit into this category. I do hope men, and my guy, realize that just because a woman is in her 30s and cares about her career, it doesn’t mean she’s chosen it over marriage. We don’t have to compromise our goals to find the loves of our lives.

Until next time…

Xoxoxo KLC

Update … Kristina has since married since this article has been published.

About the author

Kristina Baker

Kris Baker is a well respected marketing and communications expert based in Atlanta, GA. Since 2009 Baker has been navigating her professional life and her dating life and sharing her stories along the way and became a contributing writer with Lioness Magazine in 2011. She also started a blog, The Secret Lies of Lipstick, which chronicles her dating life as well as experiences of others. Baker has become a local dating expert in her community.

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  • Well a career woman is a real Total Disaster to date to begin with since they carry their Greed And Selfishness everywhere they go since they will Only want the Best and will Never settle for Less at all. There are many of us Good men out there that have lost our wife over this already and many other men that are married will Eventually have this happen to them down the road unfortunately.

  • I would take this a step farther – all men (and boys) should avoiding dating women (and girls) at all times and at all ages. Nor should they approach them, speak to them, look at them, or interact with them in any way. A woman can not add anything positive to a man’s life, and there’s plenty of danger in being with one. They can falsely accuse you, divorce you, take your kids and your assets, cheat, etc. etc. Just look around you. Yes not all women are evil but so many are that it’s not even safe to get to know them. My life has improved so much now that I avoid women.