Dating in today’s society can be a handful. From eHarmony to Tinder to Christian Mingle, studies show that 40 million singles use online dating services looking for love. Although it may be convenient, it is hard to trust someone hiding behind a laptop. On top of dealing with everyday life, add running your own business or balancing your career to the mix. You may be stressed out just thinking about it.
So how does one have both a love life and a career?
Matchmaker Caroline Brealey has spent the past few years helping singles answer that question. Brealey is the founder and head matchmaker of Mutual Attraction, a London-based award-winning matchmaking service that helps both women and men, who may not have the time, find the love they are looking for. Launching back in 2011, Brealey noticed that there weren’t many choices for single professionals not interested in looking for love on the World Wide Web. Crazy as it sounds, many singles she came in contact with were looking for more than just a “texting buddy” or someone they met as they swiped left or right but an actual personal experience.
“They wanted to meet single professionals who were who they said they were, serious about finding someone and were in the place where they were genuinely looking for a lasting loving relationship,” Brealey explained. “That’s how Mutual Attraction came about.”
Mutual Attraction, winner of the Matchmaker of the Year award in 2014, works solely with single Londoners looking for love making matches, arranging dates day in and day out. What’s special about Mutual Attraction? The company is old school, completely offline, forcing clients to get that intimate experience they desire.
So what can single professionals do to change their luck? The 33-year-old said one of the big no-no’s, especially for the boss ladies, is to relax. “Professional women have got to stop overanalyzing,” Brealey said. “Give somebody a chance. So many women will not give people a chance, expecting them to be perfect.” She also said that women must stop looking for this idealistic man who doesn’t exist.
One of the key things she and her team of three find is that her female clients are impatient. “A woman will go on a date, come back and have a phone conversation saying he hasn’t messaged me back so he isn’t interested,” Brealey laughed. “Just go with the flow and enjoy dating. The reality is if they want to see you again, they will tell you.”
While some professionals come off perfect, there are many characteristics singles have that totally sabotage their chances at love. Saying they are “open-minded,” Brealey said as soon as they say that, she knows that’s not the case. “Some self-sabotaging behaviors are simply saying no to meeting people and making excuses like being really busy with work,” she said. “They are just going through the motions of dating when they really aren’t ready because they feel like that’s what they are supposed to do.”
With some entrepreneurs throwing in the towl on finding the balance between love and work, the published author of “Matchmaking: Create Your Own Business” said not to give up so easily. “When you are starting a business, you’re this bundle of emotions and you have to try really hard to get that balance,” Brealey said. “Don’t talk about the business all the time.”
The last bit of advice she gives is very important, helping her while dating her boyfriend who is now her husband. “Separate work and relationships because neither will thrive if you don’t give time to yourself,” Brealey says as she reminisces on her dating life while starting MA. “Set time aside, be strong and be strict with yourself.”
For the single professionals looking for love, take Brealey’s advice. You already have the dream career, now it is time to find that dream love.