To be our best selves we must continue to take an active role in self-evaluation and doing the (sometimes) messy work of filling our emotional and spiritual wells. We cannot function properly if we’re constantly operating from an empty space, because we need an inner well to draw strength from for the tough times.
We’re only human and we understand that our wells will run low at times, but never allow it to go completely empty. Think of your well like a tank of gas. You need it to drive your car (you). You wouldn’t go anywhere with an empty tank, because you would be risking your car coming to a halt.
Our spiritual well works the same way. If we don’t fill it up with things that nurture, inspire and uplift our spirit, we risk our mental, emotional, and sometimes our physical, faculties shutting down. However, it’s difficult to keep your well full and clean if it’s dirty with crap from the past. You have to get rid of the dead weight in order to make room for new experiences.
What is a hurt you have been harboring?
Take a few minutes to write down the details of the situation. Make sure to include how it made you feel when it happened.
When you are finished, go back over what you have written and circle the words I, ME or the NAME or REFERENCE to anyone involved.
Now go through the text and underline any words that describe how you felt. For example, if you said you were hurt, scared, angry or sad, underline those feelings. Now take a bird’s eye view of the document. Look at the circles and the underlines. Do you still associate yourself or the person(s) involved with those underlined words?
There is no right or wrong answer. If you can associate those words with yourself or anyone involved in that hurt, it simply means that you may still have some feelings to work through and, even if you don’t want to hear it, you may need to talk to the other person(s) involved. Sometimes conversation helps, other times, no matter how much we want to resolve things, if the other person is receptive or around to even engage in a resolution, than we have to learn how to move on.
When I do this exercise today concerning the death of my father, there are still a few words that remain associated with this loss, but most of them are no longer relevant because I’ve worked through them. In fact, that particular loss in my life left me with a lot of anger. I was able to work through it by using the book, “ACT on Life Not on Anger.”
Reflection should be an ongoing process. It can take months, even years, to erase the association of some of those ill feelings. But as healing takes place, it will happen. And healing doesn’t mean the pain will totally go away. Sometimes healing means that the pain dulls a bit or that you are able to recognize and work through those feeling whenever they arise. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a professional for help. As women, we tend to carry so much on our shoulders and it is vital to our health to unload those feelings. There are a variety of avenues to try including pastors, rabbis, therapists and life coaches. Always check their references, backgrounds and areas of expertise. Our fabulous Coach Dawn assists women in setting goals, holding firm with accountability and helping you see your plans to completion.
This month try setting aside 10 minutes for reflection each day. It can be before your day starts or as it winds down. Just take a small period of time to do an emotional check-up. Replay your previous or current day and how you feel about it. Use a journal to capture any ideas or feelings that you need to get off your chest. If there is anything you would like to change, think about how you can and focus on making tomorrow a better day.
Filling your spiritual well?
What are some things you do to fill your spiritual well? For me it’s downtime on Shabbat or escaping to Barnes & Noble to surround myself with literature. I turn off the phone and float from aisle to aisle for hours. How do you recharge yourself? I would love some new suggestions.
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Unleash the Lioness Within!