Nikki DuBose, former model turned author and activist, just released her memoir, “Washed Away: From Darkness to Light,” detailing her recovery from a more than 17-year battle with mental health issues such as psychosis, depression, PTSD from abuse and the dark side of the modeling industry.
In the book trailer, directed by Ole Schell (“Picture Me”), DuBose talks about being raped by a photographer during a lunch set up by the director of her agency. She recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Network alongside Supermodel Emme on the TD Jakes Show to speak about her recovery from Body Dysmorphic Disorder and eating disorders, and how the pressure to “fit into” the modeling industry nearly killed her.
Watch the raw interview that aired on OWN with TD Jakes below.
DuBose described how she perceived herself when she battled BDD as a model:
“I looked in the mirror and saw a monster…a creature. I was locking myself in my house. I was binging and purging ten times a day, before and after castings. I was self-harming…because I hated the person that I saw…I just wanted to die.”
DuBose began modeling at 16 in her hometown, where she was fat shamed, she explained to Bishop Jakes. She had already been dealing with bulimia for eight years, and by the time she began modeling professionally, her eating disorder was out-of-control. By twenty-six, her weight had plummeted to 90 pounds.
As “Washed Away: From Darkness to Light” uncovers, she overcame her warped perception with God’s love, hard work and help from professionals. DuBose offered a message of hope and recovery to viewers, saying, “My worth…is knowing that I’m God’s child, and…that saved my life. That has helped to build the self-esteem…I had no self-esteem.”
She will be signing books and speaking with animal advocate and author Shannon Kopp on Oct. 27 from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. at Montecatini Treatment Center in Carlsbad, Calif. To attend, RSVP with Eventbrite.