Life is a fascinating journey — some of the most random and unexpected things happen, making you wonder why. My co-worker’s three-year-old tragically died in a car accident minutes from his house. A family friend went backpacking in Peru and went completely missing, never to be found. Luckily, for me, it was not a matter of life or death, but often it was so suffocating that it felt like I was dying, and I always wondered why it was happening to me. Although I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone, I can now see why it happened to me and, on some level, am thankful for it.
For the first 22 years of my life, I felt trapped in what I can only describe as a jail cell—some might call it school. I would attend class pretending I knew what was happening, skip parties and school outings to catch up on homework, and often call my friends to understand the material because I struggled to keep up with the teacher’s explanations. This situation only worsened when I entered a Jewish high school that required me to balance nine classes, consisting of both secular and religious subjects.
It wasn’t until I tested for a learning disability in high school that I started to understand why everything was so challenging for me. Although I wasn’t exactly happy with the diagnosis, I was relieved that we identified the issue and could work towards finding a solution. For many years, I told myself and heard others say that I was “stupid”. I remember having a conversation with someone in high school about how I was good friends with Jenny. He looked at me and said, “What do you guys have in common? She’s smart….[and you’re not].” Although he didn’t finish the sentence, it was obvious what he meant. There were so many instances like this one that I started to believe that I was stupid. I mean, after all, how could I not be? I was struggling so much, and I was “learning disabled”.
Even though this happened over a decade ago, the memories still sting. In fact, I’m starting to tear up as I write this. The negative experiences we have during our formative years can deeply impact us, and if we let them, they can affect us for many years. I took many steps to ensure these experiences didn’t define me, but it wasn’t easy. I surrounded myself with a good group of friends and worked my hardest to prove them wrong. After high school, I went to Oberlin College for a year before transferring to Emory University. After graduation, I accepted a job at Google. After working at the tech giant for almost four years, I left to start my own company — Petite Ave — a personal styling service for women under 5’5”, which is a large, underserved market.
As I reflect on my experience in school and my struggles with a learning disability, I always wonder why I went through that. I now believe it was meant to prepare me for my journey as an entrepreneur. So what did I learn, and how does it relate to starting a business?
Empathy & Patience
Perhaps most importantly, my learning disability helped me develop a deep sense of empathy and patience that I apply to all my relationships. I never make anyone feel stupid for asking questions, always apply a collaborative approach to my management style, and do my best to listen to what others have to say, because after all, I wish these were things people did for me when I was struggling.
Extraordinary Tenacity & Resourcefulness
If there’s one quality you must have to succeed as an entrepreneur, it’s sheer determination to keep going and figure things out. Despite feeling lost in school, I somehow figured it out. I called friends for help, stayed after school to ask questions, turned to the internet for resources, and, repeatedly, night after night, stayed up until I figured it out. And that’s exactly what I did to build a successful business – but it was a lot more enjoyable this time around.
Strong Belief In Yourself
Entrepreneurship can be filled with rejection on a lonely path to ‘making it’. The most important part of this process is believing in yourself; without that, you don’t have much else at the beginning. Throughout my time in school, believing in myself was essential. I was confident that with enough hard work, I would succeed—and I did.
Willingness to Ask for Help
Even though I’m the CEO and founder of my company, I don’t know everything and never will. It’s important to accept this reality and be comfortable with asking for help when necessary. That’s something I relied on heavily in school and something I still rely on today in running my business. I have an incredible team of employees, advisors, and other female founders whom I rely on to fill in my weaknesses, and I never hesitate to get the help I need.
Not Caring Too Much About What Others Think
Throughout school, I felt like I stood out like a sore thumb, whether it was because I asked a lot of questions or stayed behind to finish my tests. Although it was tough at the time, I eventually learned not to be overly self-conscious about it, or I wouldn’t get what I needed.
Now that I’m an entrepreneur, I’m grateful to have developed this trait. Being a founder requires quick decision-making and the ability to take action without being overly concerned about others’ opinions. Worrying too much about what others think will hinder your company’s progress.
While I could keep going about how my learning disability has helped me become the entrepreneur I am today, in short, being an entrepreneur requires extraordinary persistence, resourcefulness, strong interpersonal skills, and an ability to believe in yourself when others don’t. These are the skills I developed as I struggled through school with a learning disability. I don’t think any book, class, or job could’ve ever given me the skills that my learning disability has, and for that, I am thankful.
Vanessa Youshaei is the founder of Petite Ave, a personal styling service for women under 5’5″. Standing at 5’0″, Vanessa always had trouble finding fashionable clothing that fit. This challenge led her to spend a lot of time and money finding and altering stylish clothing that worked for her height. Ultimately, her experiences inspired her to build her company. Vanessa’s vision is to create a brand that champions petite women and fosters an empowering community for this underrepresented demographic. Before starting Petite Ave, she spent over three years at Google in sales, marketing, and program management. Vanessa graduated from Emory University with degrees in marketing and finance.
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