Work first, dating life second – for now
Posted on May 9, 2014 by Kristina Baker
My life has been a whirlwind since the new year and I constantly find myself asking this question. On Jan. 2, I was laid off from my contract work and spent the next two months figuring out who I was, again, and going for it in a new city. Well not really new as I’ve been living here for the past year but in terms of job searching this was a new city and I was starting from scratch.
Naturally I put my love life on hold. Who wants to date someone looking for a job, not 100 percent secure in the job she wants and is on a serious budget? I know I would be hesitant to date me so why subject anyone else to that?
As my budget was dwindling the heavens opened and connections and interviews started showing up and by Valentine’s Day I was accepting an offer to start the last week of February.
As the job started I decided it was time to get back out there. I dusted off Tinder on my phone and then downloaded the OK Cupid app and created a profile. The men started flowing and after many cheesy pick-up lines I found a few I could talk and relate to. I enjoyed conversations with a few and some of these conversations carried into dinner or drinks, sometimes both. But at the same time, work began and started off in the fast lane.
I found myself working long days, learning all I could and traveling. There was one guy though who stood out so I decided to keep seeing him because I was realizing he was just as busy, if not more so, than me. A match made in heaven maybe? Someone who spends an easy 10-plus hours in the office most days, same as me – I am already smitten. A relationship developed over time but the passion didn’t. He was perfect on paper but not in passion or intimacy. He just didn’t excite me in ways I wanted to be excited; I didn’t long to kiss him. So eventually I cut my ties.
Back on Tinder and OK Cupid I went but as I did my schedule got even crazier. I am teaching two college classes this semester on top of working full-time. So I work all day and come home to online posts and grading and then I try to manage conversations, and my love life. It’s exhausting and I am beginning to wonder if my love life is something I need to focus on right now?
I am seven weeks into a new job and have six more weeks of classes. Is this really the best time to try and find someone? I don’t know, I don’t know if I should put dating on hold or keep trying it. In some ways I feel my busy schedule is good because I don’t have time to focus on the “why hasn’t he called or texted?” I have more time to focus on my marketing ROI so I hopefully don’t become that crazy girl but the other part of me wonders if I’m giving enough attention to work and my classes?
My job is a new job, there wasn’t anyone in my role before so I am defining it every day and it is in an industry I haven’t worked in before so yes, I choose to work a lot so I can understand everything to the best of my ability to do my job extremely well. This is important to me.
My students are important to me too. I love helping shape lives of students and help them learn on an experiential level, not just reading textbooks all day every day. I want to make a profound impact in their lives because I had teachers do that for me.
Additionally, I sit on two local boards and serve in a heavy capacity for those so in some ways I have four jobs, which could all be considered full-time. Problem is, dating can be full-time too. I am afraid I don’t have time to do everything well.
I read an article today about Ivanka Trump and how she juggles her two children, work, her clothing/accessory line, and her husband. I am thinking, “wow, she can do it and she’s my age and I don’t even have kids” but then I think she has her man, I don’t. I am looking for my man and that can exhaust a lot of time and effort.
Honestly, I don’t know what I am going to do but I know my work comes first; it has to right now. If I can squeeze in some time for dating I certainly will; it’s nice to get out there and meet new people and see the prospects for a potential boyfriend or husband. And, the dates make for great stories!
I don’t know if I should find the time, but if I have time, I will definitely be on Tinder and OK Cupid seeing who is out there and where it can lead.
Until next time my friends, be safe and have fun!
~ xoxox KC
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- Are professional women too busy to settle down? - June 16, 2014
- Work first, dating life second – for now - May 9, 2014
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