What Happened To Dating?

Posted on August 14, 2014 by Kristina Baker

Lipstick ChroniclesThe July issue of Glamour magazine talks about dating; you know, that thing that happens when a man comes over to pick you up and take you out?! Apparently, June 28th was #GlamourDateNight and they wanted everyone to go on a real date.

This article prompted me to think, “What happened to dating and when was the last time I was on a real date?”

Dating goes back centuries and has many meanings but the general premise is “two people who evaluate if they can be suitable to be one another’s spouse.” (Wikipedia.com).  And typically, the guy picks up the girl.

Today, technology has clouded the dating game. Text messaging has become commonplace, and I admit it has for me too, and many times dates are arranged via text and often you never even talk on the phone before you meet.

I admit to not being one for guys to pick me up at my house for our first meeting, especially if we met online. More often than not I will meet the guy out, so is that considered a date?

A date requires a sense of planning. It doesn’t mean an expensive dinner or horse-drawn carriage rides but it does require someone asking another person out and planning, and not by text messaging. Pick up the phone and make a call!

As I said, I admit to being partly to blame. It’s easy to meet for coffee or a drink and “interview” one another to see if you want to see them again. It’s quick and easy and if all goes well, maybe your meeting goes longer. I have experienced those dates.

I had an amazing date with Brent where we met for a drink and some football on a Sunday afternoon. We spent the time drinking, talking, and eating. He planned it, too! We kept it to a drink just in case – he was a Tinder date after all – but it was nice and we liked each other. It was enough to date for another two months and then life got in the way and we went our separate ways.

The aforementioned date and subsequent dates with Brent, as well as the dates and men since weren’t really the same.  We’d text, arrange to do something and then that was that. None were really the marriage type anyways and I could tell from the first meeting that a second one wasn’t required; furthermore, talking on the phone never seemed to happen.

How do we go from modern day technology dating to old school in-person dating? Frankly, why should we? According to Glamour Magazine and Helen Fisher, Ph.D., match.com’s chief scientific advisor, “Going out on actual dates means you are more likely to find better romantic choices.” Not only are you finding better choices but dates are fun – bowling, museums, walks or picnics in the park – are all great ways to get to know someone.

The date may be fabulous or it may suck but either way you have stories to share with your friends and you get away from the world of text messaging and SnapChatting. You also get away from the world of meeting to hook up. Now, a good hook up won’t hurt anyone but hooking up and making out should not be the premise for a first or second date; getting to know the other person should be the premise.  Besides, you should always leave the other person wanting to see you again (if the chemistry is there).

Go ahead make him date you!

Until next time…

~ xoxox KLC

 

 

 

 

(P.S. I too need to take my own advice sometimes, so don’t think I don’t always practice what I preach. Part of why I preach it is to remind myself to practice it.)

 

 

 

 

 

About Kristina Baker

Kris Baker is a well respected marketing and communications expert based in Atlanta, GA. Since 2009 Baker has been navigating her professional life and her dating life and sharing her stories along the way and became a contributing writer with Lioness Magazine in 2011. She also started a blog, The Secret Lies of Lipstick, which chronicles her dating life as well as experiences of others. Baker has become a local dating expert in her community.

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