If I Didn’t Jump In With Both Feet, I Wouldn’t Have An Incredible Man
Posted on January 9, 2015 by Kristina Baker
It’s been a while since I wrote and to be honest, it’s because I was conflicted. I started this column as a single gal trying to navigate her way through love and life and all of a sudden last fall I found myself in love – like heart pounding, my life has been changed forever, love.
I still am in love! Five months have flown by and I have settled into a new house with my boyfriend and his two kids (who we have a few nights a week and every other weekend). I even started a new job, actually with the organization I worked for back in Massachusetts but for the Georgia chapter; and I am happy. I learned a lot along the way, too.
Let be bring you back to the beginning for a minute. I fell head over heels on the second date. He drove me home and I knew when I walked back into my house that he was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was that easy and that fast and within a month we traveled on a business trip for his job and then upon return I met his kids and slowly moved in. We, I, moved fast; I went against my usual advice. I jumped in with both feet and went for it.
If you look back at past columns I almost never advise to jump in with both feet but there was something different about this guy and I felt different. From the get-go we shared everything about our lives, even our finances. We were open and honest and neither one shied away; we were in our 30s and acting as grown-ups. It was a novel idea!
I must admit I fully immersed myself into the role of a girlfriend and step-mom and didn’t see my roommate or girlfriends as often as I used to. Add in the fact I moved more than an hour driving distance away and my job relocated closer to the city. I wasn’t over on that side of town anymore. So while my love life was awesome my friendships were struggling because I wasn’t down the street and around the corner and my time was limited.
Between the distance and busy schedules, my closest friends did not meet my boyfriend until three months later and I am sure they all hated me at that point. I was no longer there for Sunday “family” dinners, mid-week dinners and they hadn’t met the guy who stole my heart. I used to always say, and I still believe, the guy you date should date your friends, too. In my case, this didn’t happen and they were feeling left in the dark. I totally understand their anger with me but it didn’t make it any easier. All of our lives were moving on but my life was moving on more than an hour away, which made it hard to catch up; phones and text messages only go so far.
After some heart-to-hearts, the girls finally meeting the boyfriend, and a night out, we slowly started pulling the pieces together. It’s not the wild and crazy four single girls we once were, but we try. And I will continue to make the effort because no matter the relationship I still believe you need your girlfriends in your life.
I have also come to appreciate my mommy friends; friends I have who have kids and new friends (neighbors) who have kids as well. Being a mom, while I love it, is new to me and sometimes you just need to ask for feedback, bounce ideas off one another or vent. It’s nice knowing others have been there or are doing “that” too!
I have also learned the importance of “date night.” Living together makes it easy to get caught up in work, kids, family, etc., and sometimes forget us. We work very hard to make us a priority every day and have a date night once a week. Some nights we get dressed up and go out, other nights we curl up at home with takeout and shut out the world. We put down our phones and just be with one another. Without these nights we lose ourselves as a couple, the whole reason our life is what it is.
Looking back, the past five months have been amazing. I haven’t done everything perfect, I doubt any of us do when we do something different, but I wouldn’t change much (just how I let friendships slide) because I have learned a lot and have grown a lot. It has made me stronger and frankly if I didn’t jump with both feet I wouldn’t have an incredible man and two wonderful step-kids by my side every day.
I am excited for what 2015 will bring and know I will have plenty to share. I hope you are looking forward to your year ahead as much as I am mine. Until next time, be safe and have fun!
~ xoxox KLC
Photo Courtesy of Emilian Robert Vicol [FLICKR]
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